Hanging By a Moment

Twelve years ago today, I lost a friend to breath play. Its something I still haven’t recovered from, especially since I’m the one who found him. And yet, of all the people I’ve ever known, he still resonates as the most alive. Funny, that something as essential as breathing is what ended up killing him. Even more ironic is how the title of this blog post was, at the time, his favorite song.

Wikipedia defines erotic asphyxiation or breath control play as “the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. The sexual practice is variously called asphyxiophilia, autoerotic asphyxia, hypoxyphilia.” I know it doesn’t have to be harmful–that some people who practice it are very knowledgeable about its dangers and how to avoid them. I’m not writing this to judge anyone. I go by the mantra that your kink is not my kink, and that’s okay. But, after the death of my friend, breath play simply scares the crap out of me.

So if you practice it, please be careful, and please don’t do it alone. We only have so many moments on this earth. Cherish every breath you have.

Desperate for changing, starving for truth.
I’m closer to where I started, I’m chasing after you.
I’m falling even more in love with you.
Letting go of all I’ve held on to.
I’m standing here until you make me move.
I’m hanging by a moment here with you.

– Lifehouse

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